I guess some of you expected me to say something earlier? Actually I did write a long post b4 that but didn’t post it up. I really want to make myself cool down 1st b4 throwing some harsh words to you. (But I don’t even know whether you care already.)
From rage turns disappointments and sadness…
I realized I m not actually angry with those 5 pple who stood, but total disappointment.
Becos those 5 are not juz the strength of the team but a few are pple I trusted so much ONCE. I thought I can carve a future, create a history with these pple. Never have I thought they are actually so selfish to ditch me, ditch all those who wants to fight. Never have I thought they r the last person I can rely on. Never have I thought the 1 to kill the dream of the whole team (senior’s hope inclusive) is not our opponents, not the school system but the least expected, u gals! If you gals did not want to fight, then why have you gals given me the false impressions previously?
I waited so long for this combination to meet again but little did I expect the passions to b diminished. The change is scary…
Seeing that you gals didn’t feel anything, any urgency for the standards, and any guilt for letting the rest of the teammates down is really scary! Suddenly I see no future. I see n future for the seniors previously but I was never afraid. Becos I know they will fight their best and not regret. The scary part abt you gals now it’s like I’m dealing wif people of no feelings for others. I stayed becos of sentiments. Now it seemed to be gone!
I thought you gals are worth much more than the very much higher pay that UWC is offering me. I thought the common goals we used to share, the sentiments, the attachments, the good times, and the bad times are priceless. Ended up I guess we price our feelings differently? U may b priceless to me but obviously you priced yourselves as much to b thinking for the team.
Can anyone please tell me whatever I m thinking/feeling r all wrong? For once I really wished for someone to tell me in my face that I m wrong wrong wrong! For once I wish someone can tell me I shouldn’t regret my decision...